I knew when I was in elementary school that I had an attraction to girls and boys. I didn't have a word for it at the time, and had heard that being gay is "an abomination" so many times, I didn't ever share what (or who) I was thinking about. So I stayed silent until I arrived at Cedarville. That was the first place I heard anyone say that it's possible to be gay and still be a Christian. So I started to tell some people about my sexuality, in hopes of not feeling so alone. As I opened up more, I realized I wasn't the only one that had been hiding my sexuality. I really can't describe the freedom I felt as I stopped hiding. From little thoughts, like all the "oh he's cute" moments (that had never before left my mind)... to big moments, like coming out to family (from whom I had always tried to hide parts of myself).
Many things have changed since coming out almost 10 years ago and I'm sure many things will continue to change in my future.
What I hold on to is that
- I am and always will be exactly who I'm meant to be. Whether I call myself a nonreligious bisexual male, or a pansexual and gender fluid Christian... I will always be (and love) myself.
- There will always be people who embrace me just for being me.
- I can always embrace others just for being who they are.